The Turbo Bocce Top 100 Songs of the Decade: 50-41

Originally Phil was going to do these 10, but apparently he got bored of it and just did me the favor of improperly pasting the embedded videos into a document.  All I had to do was fix the code and write the descriptions.  It ended up being less work for me so thanks I guess.

50 Wale ft. Lady Gaga – Chillin

Lady Gaga sings her acoustic version of Pokerface behind Wale’s rapping. There’s nothing else to it really.

49    Lil Wayne – A Milli

If you had told me three years ago that I’d really dig a song with a fucking godawful and repetitive vocal sample as the backing track I’d have called you a goddamn liar. I sorta wish I could travel back in time just to see the look on my face when I told myself, but alas. I’m sure that if time travel is ever invented it won’t be so I can tell myself that I’d like some rap song, but a man can dream.

48   Outkast – Hey Ya

At no point between the end of 2003 and the end of 2005 could you get away from this goddamn song. Outkast grabbed on to the pop consciousness and just refused to let go until basically every human being in the world got sick and tired of them.

47   Santogold – Lights Out

Santogold busts out and immediately makes everyone compare her to M.I.A. Then she sings a song that sounds nothing like M.I.A. and we all sigh in relief because no one wants to have to deal with two of these women. Then she goes and works with Diplo and we sorta eye her a little crooked hoping that we don’t have another crazy bitch on our hands.

46   The Killers – All These Things That I’ve Done

Phil used to really really hate this band. I’m talking REALLY hate them. For some reason it would make him furious that they all wear eyeliner in one of their music videos. Phil then went on to decide that Nickelback was a tolerable band and threw out any sort of trust in his opinion that anyone could have.

45   Boy Hits Car – Man without Skin

When I saw these guys at the KRockathon the lead singer stage-dove off the speakers hanging a good 40 or 50 feet above the crowd and had to be taken to the hospital after their set for internal bleeding. It was goddamned fantastic and the perfect moment to cement in my mind that it really was worth dealing with such a huge crowd of drooling and toothless rednecks to see a band I really liked.

44   Arcade Fire – Neighborhood #1 – (Tunnels)

Arcade Fire is another one of those bands that you either really love or just kinda don’t mind.  While I really think that Keep the Car Running is a much better song, this one is their big one that everyone first heard.  It’s a pretty decent song, but honestly I think I could do without the college freshman girls always using lyrics from it as their Facebook status updates.

43   Madonna – Hung Up

2008 was the year of Abba.  If you even need to ask what that means then you don’t know Woz.  This song has an Abba sample.  When I get drunk I listen to it because I like to feel fabulous.  No I really don’t think that my description here raises any questions about my sexuality.

42   Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em – Crank That (Soulja Boy)

When not rapping, Soulja Boy is a 19 year-old kid who fell into a fuckload of money and who really pisses off white nerds by refusing to understand their bullshit “games as art” game, instead choosing to just have fun with it. Soulja Boy is fantastic.

41   Beyonce Knowles – Crazy in Love

This song is a goddamned masterpiece and there’s a very good reason that Beyoncé was nominated for six Grammy’s for it. The horn sample is boisterous and exactly right for grabbing your attention right off the bat.

  • Phil

    Dude, it wasn’t just the eyeliner, it was the eyeliner AND that guy who ate the apple and had that look on his face. It wasn’t good and you know it, especially after the first video which had explosions and the desert and shit. I’ve never actually re-watched the first video but from how I remember it, it was awesome. HOLY SHIT!!! I just looked up what Nickelback fans call themselves (couldn’t find anything) but I did find that there is Nickelback fan fiction!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! That’s a band for a MAN!!!!!!!!@