XMas Carol

For a long time my family had a tradition. The men went caroling on the 23rd while the women and children stayed home and baked Christmas cookies. I remember my first time going caroling with the men. I was the only kid allowed to go. We went from house to house singing carols and inevitably getting invited in for beers at each stop. The men all got drunk and I usually got a soda or a candy cane. Each stop meant more singing, more soda and candy canes for me, and more “Christmas cheer” for the men. It was almost as good as Halloween. When we got cold and tired and went … Read More »

The Bocce Bible

Book I: Genesis

 

1:1: In the beginning God created golf (and he did a lousy job of it because its boring and expensive and played by old fat men in goofy clothes).

Heathens roamed the lands and seas (spending most of their time burning effigies and making idols while basically having a horrible time of life).

One of these heathens is Tom (who isn’t thinking about burning effigies or making idols at the moment because he’s in the middle of having a mental breakdown). Today is the worst day of his life.

The economy is dreadfully bad (so bad that money hasn’t even been invented yet) and all over the world bosses are firing employees. Tom is one of the employees. … Read More »

Alcohol Hall of Fame: drunk Jesus’s first miracle was turning money into beer

This guy is the last of the famous international playboys . . .

 

Don’t believe me? Watch this . . .

 

 

Want to be like him?

Want to channel the jet setting, womanizing, hard drinking, playboy (or playgirl) inside yourself?

Then let the Bocce Organization of Beer Swillers teach you how to party like a bocce player.

You can walk into any bar and immediately own the place. You can get all your drinks for free. You can have men idolize you and women fall in love with you.

Its true.

You just have to know what drinks to order.

That’s why BOOBS is starting the Alcohol Hall of Fame. Each drink here has been scientifically proven to induce crazy drunken fun. … Read More »

Florida Thoughts

 


While I was watching Syracuse play Florida, I couldn’t help but think I had seen Florida’s coach somewhere before.

 

Oh that’s right, he’s that guard from Providence. Duh.

I know a lot of people had this game pegged as a very important game, and that’s understandable seeing as how this was our first game against a major conference opponent, but the truth of the matter is this was the single least important game of the season. Your shocked right? But it’s the truth. Don’t think of this game as a single game but as one half of a back to back set. Going one and one in this tournament is a perfectly … Read More »