Symposium de la bocce (how to excel at turbo style bocce)

Let me start by saying that this is a guide to help people who are looking to master the art of Turbo Bocce. My first suggestion is that you take the time to learn the rules of Turbo Bocce. Once you’ve done that, you will be ready to come back here and start learning the finer points of the game. Ok, go find the rules now and read them . . . I’ll wait.

Back yet? Good.

Turbo Bocce takes place on two battle fields. The actual field where the game is played, and the far vaster location inside the human mind. If you come to the battle armed with the proper mental weapons the odds are you will emerge … Read More »

How to pass the time in your dull dull life

Play bocce under the stars . . . indoors. That’s the motto of B.O.O.B.S. brand spanking new indoor bocce court. The most famous indoor bocce court in the world.

Once you know what it’s like to bask in the glow of over three thousand perfectly placed lights, to emerge victorious on bocce’s most glamorous stage, to throw a sweet inswinger, to trust the bias (in short, to play indoor bocce) everything else will suck by comparison.

After bocce, when you’re back in your comfortable bed with two beautiful women fellating you (the usual way to end the day for bocce’s elite players) all you’ll be thinking about is how much you wish you were playing indoor bocce right now . … Read More »

JULY 19, 2005… A DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY

WARNING: Due to the graphic nature of this article, which will depict of a level of bocce so abhorrently bad that merely reading about it constitutes a health risk, children under the age of 16, pregnant women, and people with heart defects would be well advised to turn back now, and avoid reading any further.

11-0

Joining the pantheon of great rivalries such as Tyson vs. McNeely, Reagan vs. Mondale, Germany vs. Poland, Hammer vs. Nail, Tsunami vs. Southeast Asia, and Hot Knife vs. Butter, comes Beer United vs. Cunnilingus City.

11-0

In what can only be described as a debacle of all-time proportions, heavy favorite Cunnilingus City, coming off a convincing 3-0 drubbing of Eggs on a Fork and brimming with confidence took … Read More »

MICHAEL JACKSON: King of Pop or King of Poop?

Here Ye, Here Ye. Let all who are present ready thyself and steel thy spirit for this, the first assemblage of the B.O.O.B.S. court of civil opinion. On the docket today sits the fate of one Michael Joseph Jackson as our panel of accomplished Master Debaters will determine conclusively and without question whether Mr. Michael Joseph Jackson is the esteemed King of Pop or the lowly King of Poop.

All rise for the moderator of our court, the honorable Head Chairman.

Head Chairman:
Please be seated. I now call forth to the stand our first Master Debater, Mr. Eighties McHotpants, who will be arguing in favor of Mr. Jackson. Mr. McHotpants you may make your opening remarks now.

Eighties McHotpants:
Thank … Read More »