General Turbo Bocce Blog

Great Moments in B.O.O.B.S. History XLIX: Soccer Riot at Toronto Oasis Show

All real men have felt the excruciating pain in their bladders of having to expel mass quantities of beer after a concert while standing online behind 86 other dudes who are doing the peep-pee dance ahead of you…unless of course you decided to relieve yourself during the concert on the unknowing concert-goer in the row ahead of you. Hint: Says Phil Martino, skilled troubadour of public urination…”Just wait for a really good song…no one will ever guess that you’d piss in the crowd during ‘Champagne Supernova’…hell they might even think it’s some kind of stunt and that the oozing liquid is in fact real champagne running down the aisles!!” Ergo, we can all relate to … Read More »

Great Moments in B.O.O.B.S. History XLII: Feud Over Beer United

In a dim, smoky and stuffy room off in the corner of the Martino residence, an argument was brewing.

Phil Martino, Paul Colabufo, and Jim McCarthy had been sitting in the room, drinking and smoking for many tense hours as they pored over potential B.O.O.B.S. applicants to join the league in its inaugural season. After much soul searching, they were able to weed their lists down to a total of sixteen people, each name scribbled onto a hastily cut piece of paper in crayon. As Paully began drawing names from a hat to make up teams, The Hammer let out the fateful words that have shaped B.O.O.B.S. history ever since: “Let’s hope Phil and I are on the … Read More »

Great Moments in B.O.O.B.S. History XXIII: The Day the Earth Quaked

It was a sunny July afternoon, the beer was left in the sun, the bocce was enjoyed by all, and the entire world moved. The Tipp Hill Tossers faced off in a battle of epic proportions against the Scehcky Dreidle less Eggs on a Fork, these titans of the B.O.O.B.S. battled through an entire two cases of beer before anyone was able to get an advantage. The turning point came in the second game as the combatants from the Tipp Hill Tossers could not throw a ball without it ending up in the ditch. The final throw was that of Paul Colabufo. All Paul needed to do was simply toss the ball with a medium … Read More »

August 8, 2005

Dear Pope,

Dear Benedict XIV,

I have been under the impression that God loves bocce players. However, I
have begun to feel that God either does not exist or has no special place in
his heart for bocce. If God likes bocce, why aren’t bocce sets comparable
in price to heathen white trash games such as horseshoes? Even at walmart, where nothing cost more than $30, a bocce set is $50 plus shipping.

I know that many people wish you to spend time on other matters. However I believe this issue is of utmost importance. It has been said that a smile can heal a sickness and a wink can cure cancer… If this is true than one can surely … Read More »