The Ultimate Warrior as transcribed by Sanguine French

snort, heavy breathing

Nonsensical ramblings: logical or not? That is the question.

So the birds told the beavers that the honey is overflowing these days. With the economy being as poor/positive as it is, certain men and women who used to be men know that when the JUICE is LOOSE, no amount of fear can stop the money from climbing.

Now Modus Tollens might be used to prove invalid arguments valid, but that may not be correct. An argument is always valid unless proved invalid. This is done if all the premises are true and the conclusion is false. So for example, I may say, “Joanne is loquacious” which can be symbolized as P and “Roxanne is somber (q) and Joanne is loquacious” symbolized as p … Read More »

The Candylicker Cums Back

It is with much embarrassment that in this site’s first two months of existence the first mention of the great Marvin Sease was made yesterday. The average bocce fan may be asking what the inclusion of the pimptastic Marvin Sease has to do with the sport of bocce. The answer: Marvin Sease cured cancer.

Marvin Sease cured cancer? Yes, Marvin Sease through his refreshing tales of cunnilingus, cured the cancerous stigma that going down on a woman’s vagina is an awful thing to do.

Marvin Sease was not always the esteemed musician and lover that he is today. As a youth he was consistently made to feel negative by his schoolmates for his love of cunnilingus. The … Read More »

JULY 19, 2005… A DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY

WARNING: Due to the graphic nature of this article, which will depict of a level of bocce so abhorrently bad that merely reading about it constitutes a health risk, children under the age of 16, pregnant women, and people with heart defects would be well advised to turn back now, and avoid reading any further.

11-0

Joining the pantheon of great rivalries such as Tyson vs. McNeely, Reagan vs. Mondale, Germany vs. Poland, Hammer vs. Nail, Tsunami vs. Southeast Asia, and Hot Knife vs. Butter, comes Beer United vs. Cunnilingus City.

11-0

In what can only be described as a debacle of all-time proportions, heavy favorite Cunnilingus City, coming off a convincing 3-0 drubbing of Eggs on a Fork and brimming with confidence took … Read More »