The Turbo Bocce Top 100 Songs of the Decade: 40-31

These next ten songs were probably the last of the songs that were easy to rank.  These songs were obviously better than the ones preceding them and obviously worse than the ones after.  That’s how lists work.

40     Dorrough – Ice Cream Paint Job

A modern classic about how fantastic Dorrough’s goddamn car is.  The only thing that could have made this song better would be by combining it with Lil’ Wayne’s freestyle.

39     The National – Fake Empire

This song used to come on over the muzak when I worked at Rite Aid.  I could never quite make out the lyrics so I could never actually look the goddamn song up online so I could steal buy it.  I think I finally CSIed together enough of the lyrics that I was finally able to figure out what it was and, conveniently enough, it turns out that it’s a fantastic song by a band with a fantastic drummer.

38     Explosions in the Sky – First Breath After Coma

Explosions in the Sky are basically the house band for dramatically triumphant movie moments.  I had a hard time decided what song of theirs I liked best, so I just said “fuck it” and pulled the first track off of their best album.  Luckily enough the song is fantastic.

37     Feist – 1234

This is yet another fine example of Apple having way too much of an impact on popular music in the 00s.  While this is a really great song, one almost has to stop and wonder just how big it would have gotten if not for those ubiquitous iPod commercials.  It’s my humble opinion that without those commercials the song would be remembered as the 37th best song of the decade.

36     Justin Timberlake – SexyBack

Timbaland’s vocabulary throughout this song as compared to Timberlake’s is a huge reminder as to why he should keep his fucking mouth shut on his beats and just let the artists be better than he could ever be.

$35     Kasabian – Club Foot

From the moment the guitars kick in, Club Foot is a dirty little rock song that kicks ass from start till finish.

34     Pitbull – I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)

Late one night while drunk I received a phone call from Phil about this reggaeton meets dance song. It had somehow managed to break into the mainstream in such a way that he actually heard it and he felt that I needed to know.  His description of a “Like seven-minute song that’s awesome and just doesn’t end” turned out to be fairly accurate.

33     TI ft. Rihanna – Live Your Life

For some ungodly reason Rihanna decided to take the tune from that goddamn Numa Numa song that some fat frog-looking motherfucker mouthed along to on Youtube and sing it her own way.  It should have been a really bad fucking idea but it somehow worked out in the end.

32     Bone Thugs n Harmony ft. Phil Collins – Home

In what turns out to have been possibly the single most inspired team-ups in rap history, Bone Thugs got together with Phil Fucking Collins and redid his Take Me Home in a way that only Bone Thugs can.

31     Morrissey – I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris

Morrisey closed out this goddamn ridiculous decade in the only goddamn ridiculous way he knew how: by professing his love for Paris.  See, it’s because only stone and steel accept his love.  Yeah.  He had other great songs this decade, but his dancing in this video is just too out there to leave it off.