General Turbo Bocce Blog

August 16, 2005

Hello to the bocce friends. It has been a week since I last talk to all of you, I trust you are all keeping up your ban on Wal-Mart, if not the Pope would be very very disappointed. I now go to your letters, and thank you every one who write me.

Your holiest Pope,

I have a problem. See, there’s these guys that I want to play bocce with, but they don’t play by the rules. Plus I think they might be gay.

I think they’d be good opponents, but they box you in from the very start with their wierd rules. And there rules are always the same. They never change, never change.

In … Read More »

Great Moments in B.O.O.B.S. History XLIX: Soccer Riot at Toronto Oasis Show

All real men have felt the excruciating pain in their bladders of having to expel mass quantities of beer after a concert while standing online behind 86 other dudes who are doing the peep-pee dance ahead of you…unless of course you decided to relieve yourself during the concert on the unknowing concert-goer in the row ahead of you. Hint: Says Phil Martino, skilled troubadour of public urination…”Just wait for a really good song…no one will ever guess that you’d piss in the crowd during ‘Champagne Supernova’…hell they might even think it’s some kind of stunt and that the oozing liquid is in fact real champagne running down the aisles!!” Ergo, we can all relate to … Read More »

Great Moments in B.O.O.B.S. History XLII: Feud Over Beer United

In a dim, smoky and stuffy room off in the corner of the Martino residence, an argument was brewing.

Phil Martino, Paul Colabufo, and Jim McCarthy had been sitting in the room, drinking and smoking for many tense hours as they pored over potential B.O.O.B.S. applicants to join the league in its inaugural season. After much soul searching, they were able to weed their lists down to a total of sixteen people, each name scribbled onto a hastily cut piece of paper in crayon. As Paully began drawing names from a hat to make up teams, The Hammer let out the fateful words that have shaped B.O.O.B.S. history ever since: “Let’s hope Phil and I are on the … Read More »

Great Moments in B.O.O.B.S. History XXIII: The Day the Earth Quaked

It was a sunny July afternoon, the beer was left in the sun, the bocce was enjoyed by all, and the entire world moved. The Tipp Hill Tossers faced off in a battle of epic proportions against the Scehcky Dreidle less Eggs on a Fork, these titans of the B.O.O.B.S. battled through an entire two cases of beer before anyone was able to get an advantage. The turning point came in the second game as the combatants from the Tipp Hill Tossers could not throw a ball without it ending up in the ditch. The final throw was that of Paul Colabufo. All Paul needed to do was simply toss the ball with a medium … Read More »