August 16, 2005

Hello to the bocce friends. It has been a week since I last talk to all of you, I trust you are all keeping up your ban on Wal-Mart, if not the Pope would be very very disappointed. I now go to your letters, and thank you every one who write me.

Your holiest Pope,

I have a problem. See, there’s these guys that I want to play bocce with, but they don’t play by the rules. Plus I think they might be gay.

I think they’d be good opponents, but they box you in from the very start with their wierd rules. And there rules are always the same. They never change, … Read More »

August 8, 2005

Dear Pope,

Dear Benedict XIV,

I have been under the impression that God loves bocce players. However, I
have begun to feel that God either does not exist or has no special place in
his heart for bocce. If God likes bocce, why aren’t bocce sets comparable
in price to heathen white trash games such as horseshoes? Even at walmart, where nothing cost more than $30, a bocce set is $50 plus shipping.

I know that many people wish you to spend time on other matters. However I believe this issue is of utmost importance. It has been said that a smile can heal a sickness and a wink can cure cancer… If this is true than one … Read More »

July 8, 2005

Hello to all the bocce players. I hear the-a weather it clear up real nice for you this week. You know the Pope he doesn’t like to-a do the brag, but when his friend Phil tell the Pope the weather problem, the Pope you know he make a few calls on the phone, bada-bing you gots sun. He also ask me to make him a good bocce player, what he think the-a Pope work miracles?

Dear Pope,

Your Eminence,

There has been a very troubling trend between my friends and myself. We seem to want to refer to every tasty shot as “birthday cake.” Normally this would not pose a problem, but … Read More »

June 16, 2005

To my children, I wish you all good day. The Pope’s friend he-a tell him that his prayers have been answered and the first-a week of B.O.O.B.S it much success. That make me, the Pope, it make me very pleased. I wish you all many of-a the blessings in the future and look forward to helping everyone with the problems.

Dear Pope,

I was wondering if you could tell me when the Bocce Babe of the Week might be
posted on the web-site. I love the site but and have found almost all of what
i was looking for, but I was hoping to be able to masterbate to something while at … Read More »