Great Moments in B.O.O.B.S. History XLII: Feud Over Beer United

In a dim, smoky and stuffy room off in the corner of the Martino residence, an argument was brewing.

Phil Martino, Paul Colabufo, and Jim McCarthy had been sitting in the room, drinking and smoking for many tense hours as they pored over potential B.O.O.B.S. applicants to join the league in its inaugural season. After much soul searching, they were able to weed their lists down to a total of sixteen people, each name scribbled onto a hastily cut piece of paper in crayon. As Paully began drawing names from a hat to make up teams, The Hammer let out the fateful words that have shaped B.O.O.B.S. history ever since: “Let’s hope Phil and I are on the same team so we don’t get into a big bitch fight about Beer United.”

The gods, however, were not smiling this day, and the two didn’t end up on the same team, let alone in the same division.

And so the argument began.

Finally, after coming up with ways to settle the dispute including a duel with pistols at thirty paces, a drinking contest, and playing chicken on the Thruway during rush hour (all guaranteed to end up with both Phil and The Hammer dead), the idea was put forth to simply play a game of bocce for the non-negotiable rights to the name. The only problem: it was nearly midnight and there were no lights in the backyard.

Never ones to shirk a challenge, Phil quickly grabbed a flashlight, handed it to Paully, and the three went out into the pitch-black dog-shit riddled backyard.

The very first game of “night bocce” began in the same way it would end, with The Hammer steamrolling over a drunker Phil and with Paully complaining incessantly about the mosquitoes. In the end, The Hammer nearly swept Phil and thus won the non-negotiable rights to the name of “Beer United”, thus touching off a rivalry that has impacted B.O.O.B.S. history in ways we are still just beginning to understand.