It was a sunny July afternoon, the beer was left in the sun, the bocce was enjoyed by all, and the entire world moved. The Tipp Hill Tossers faced off in a battle of epic proportions against the Scehcky Dreidle less Eggs on a Fork, these titans of the B.O.O.B.S. battled through an entire two cases of beer before anyone was able to get an advantage. The turning point came in the second game as the combatants from the Tipp Hill Tossers could not throw a ball without it ending up in the ditch. The final throw was that of Paul Colabufo. All Paul needed to do was simply toss the ball with a medium force and the point would easily be the Tossers. It is still unknown what Paul was thinking at the time of this fateful toss, however the worlds of B.O.O.B.S. and tectonic geology will never be the same. You see as Paul threw that red orb of glory something happened, the grounds at 7188 Opal Dr. shook. Shook with a concentrated violence never before seen in the annals of time. Trembled with a force that awoke Apollo, but ended quickly enough to allow him to continue his sodomy of Helios. Shuddered with a strength that could not possibly come from the weight of a few B.O.O.B.S. members jumping on the ground. Jolted with a potency that… you should get the idea. As a result of the vibrations Paul Colabufo’s ball slowly but assuredly rolled into the same ditch with the rest of the Tipp Hill Tossers attempts.
As unbelievable as all of this may seem, it is all true, except for the earthquake part. You see Paul Colabufo, the “sane” one, a man who is licensed to practice law in the State of New York, a man who despite never doing an ounce of work never got below a B in College, and captain of the first place Tipp Hill Tossers, lost his fucking mind. As soon as his ball left his hand Paul knew he choked, fortunately for him, a few people gave him an “excuse” to cover up his choking, these people never touched Paul’s ball but instead jumped up and down all around it. According to Paul Colabufo these actions were the cause of his ill fated shot. Yes, you read that correctly Paul Colabufo, the man who taught me how to drink, the man who helped invent the Zola Bomb, and the man who has led the Boise Hobos to countless victories, felt that three people jumping up and down created enough seismic activity to force his ball into a ditch, what a guy.
