Is Anybody On Pace To Set an All-Time Turbo Bocce Record This Year?

With the season half way done, you might be wondering what you need to do to set an (increasingly difficult to break) all-time Turbo Bocce record.

I’ll let you know here, as well as answer the question raised above: Is anybody on pace to break a record?

The short answer for the Tuesday league is – no, not really.

The short answer for the Wednesday league is – yes! Everybody has already broken every record, since this is the Wednesday league’s first year in existence.

Are you ready for the long answer? Okay, here we go.

Tuesday League

–  The record for most wins in a season is 27, set by the Tipp Hill Tossers (twice) and by Whipple & John. You’d need to have 14 wins at the half way point to be on pace to break it.

Right now Los Moppines and Rick & Robb both have 13 wins, so mathematically both can break the record if they go undefeated in the second half of the season. With one loss they can tie the record. Is this likely? Lets ask the best and only psychic billiard ball I know, the Magic 8 Ball:


Magic 8 Ball says “Outlook Not So Good.”

– The record for most points in a season is 200, set by Bill LaBrake last year. You’d need to have 100 points at this point in the season to be on pace to tie this record.

Right now Robb Jones is leading the league in points with 92 points (that’s 18.2 per game). Jake Schatz is actually leading the league in points per game with 18.7 though he has two weeks to make up. Neither is particularly close to the 20.0 points per game you need to average to get to the record, and this particular record is almost impossible to gain ground on because nobody scores much over twenty in a week, even on the best of weeks. Jake will need to average about 21 a game for seven straight weeks, and Robb will have to average about 22 a game for the next five weeks to break the record. So, is a record setting performance likely?


The magic 8 ball says “My Sources Say No.” Just who are the Magic 8 Balls sources anyway? Who is it talking to from the floor of my closet?

– The record for most bocces in a season is 82, set by Phil Martino in the early days of the league when he only threw the pallino 5 or 6 feet. Nobody has come particularly close to this record since.

Right now Sherri Walakis is leading the league with 34 bocces. You’d need to have 41 bocces at the half way point to be on pace to tie it. This is the best run at this record anyone has made in a while. Sherri will have to average just under 10 bocces a game for the next five weeks to match it. She’s had 9 the last two weeks, so its not impossible. What does the magic 8 ball have to say?


“Outlook Not So Good.” Sorry Sherri, I thought you had a chance.

– The record for most aces in a season is 33 set by Bob Amato. Now, that was on a different field where aces came a little more readily, however, ace production for the league as a whole has more than doubled from last year (I guess the three hours a day I put in making the field nice this Spring paid off!).

Phil Martino is the current ace leader with 13 (one more than anyone in the league had during the entire season last year!). You’d need to have 17 aces at this point in the season to be on pace to break the all-time record, and Phil will need to average 4 aces a day for the rest of the season just to tie the record. To illustrate how hard it would be to do this, in half a season our entire league has only generated a single 4 ace performance. Jake Schatz did it in week three (against me, of course). So is it likely?


The Magic 8 Ball says “My Reply is No (fucking way).” That last bit is what I assume the Magic 8 Ball would say if wasn’t built for children.

– The record for Rookie of the Year points is 174 set by Justin McGlocklin and Joe La Celle last year. For whatever reason, last year was a huge year for records. The all time points record was beat by 10, and so was the rookie of the year record.

So far Rick Lape is in the lead for Rookie of the Year with 69. He would need 87 to be on pace to tie the record. That mean’s he will need to average 21 points per game the rest of the way just to tie. To put this in perspective, so far he is averaging 13.8 points per game. So is it likely?


The Magic 8 Ball says “Don’t Count On It.”   I won’t Magic 8 Ball . . . I won’t.

Well . . . the bright side is somebody is going to set an all time Turbo Wins record, because this is the first year we have ever kept that particular statistic.

Wednesday League

Obviously, since this is the first season all the season leaders will be all time leaders, so for perspective lets compare some of the Wednesday accomplishments to Tuesday records.

Can anybody break the record of 27 wins in a season (out of 30)? Well Balls of Fury are currently 21-0 (they are ahead two weeks, because they knew they’d miss some games later on). Lets ask the Magic 8 Ball what it thinks.


“Signs Point to Yes” That’s big news for Balls of Fury. A Psychic Billiard Ball from the 80’s thinks you are going to be the winningest team in history! Who can argue with that?

The record of 200 points in a year will be tough to break, but can anybody do it? John Bowman is leading the league in points with 133 after seven weeks played. He is averaging 19.0 points per game. Paul Colabufo and Jake Alstadt are just behind averaging 18.6, but with two more weeks to make up the gap having only played five weeks so far (you need to average 20.0 to get to the record). John needs to average just under 23 a game for three weeks to take the record. Paul or Jake would need to average 21.4. So can any of the three of them do it?


Magic 8 Ball says “Dont Count On It”

The record for bocces is 82. Right now Jay Mandresh and Kelly Edmundston are tied for the league lead with 21 a piece. That’s 61 behind the record. They would need to average 12.2 bocces the rest of the way to tie the record. Neither of them has gotten that many bocces even one time. So can a miracle occur?


Magic 8 Ball says “Reply Hazy Try Again.” Fuck you Magic 8 Ball, its obvious this record is safe.

The record for most aces is 33. Right now there is a three way tie for the ace lead between Jen Elia, Sara Tully, and Paul Colabufo who each have 8. This puts them 25 behind the record, and means they would need to average 5 aces a game for the rest of the season. Can it happen? Probably not, but then again Jen got 7 of her 8 aces this season in one day. Maybe she can duplicate that performance a couple more times? Lets ask the Magic 8 Ball to find out.

Magic 8-ball says

“Very Doubtful” I wanted some hope on that one. Oh well.

No matter what the next five weeks hold, in my mind this season has already been a tremendous success. I love to see the Wednesday crew continuing a great Turbo Bocce tradition. Congratulations Wednesday League, every one of you is making history!  Your stories will be told for years to come!