Playoff First Round Recap

After a rainy year the playoffs kick-started on a warm sunshiny day. So I will take that as a good sign.

This year’s official Turbo Bocce shirts came in and were distributed, and our regular season medal winners were awarded.

But all the real drama happened on the bocce field where teams played in best of three do-or-die series with the season on the line.

Lets break the games down one by one.

32 seed Big LeBocce vs. 33 seed Beauty and the Beast

Vegas gave each team a 50% chance of victory, but what they did not take into account was Big LeBocce’s history of playing better in the playoffs than they do in the regular season. In this case history repeated itself. Big LeBocce was red hot, impressing onlookers with their fantastic bocce, and winning two straight by scores of 11-1 and 11-5.

Big LeBocce will advance to play 1 seed Black Jesus (who had a bye) in the next round. This is sure to be a game to watch.


17 seed Mark & Robb vs. 48 seed DaVinci


Vegas gave the Mark & Robb an 80% chance of victory in this game, and though DaVinci put up a good fight and gave some onlookers hope that the defending champions might be upset, Mark & Robb are just too tough in the playoffs and they won the series in two games, 11-5 and 11-7

16 seed Amerika’z Least Wanted vs. 49 seed I Shaved My Balls For This?


Vegas gave Amerika’z Least Wanted an 80% chance of victory, and seems to have hit the mark with that prediction. Amerikzá Least wanted won the first game big, 11-3, but I Shaved My Balls For This? did not go down without a fight. They battled hard in the second game before eventually falling 11-7.

Amerika’z Least Wanted will advance to play Mark & Robb in the next round, and this battle of former champions should be THE marquee game of the second round. Its going to be strange playing the final 16 without one of them, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles in the bracket of death.

9 seed Puzzles vs. 56 seed Sauce & Sand


Vegas gave Puzzles an 80% chance of victory, so Vegas would have been just as surprised as the rest of us that Puzzles lost. Puzzles was one of the best teams in the league this year, and has been one of the best teams for a while now, but that did not stop Sauce & Sand from putting on a virtuoso performance, and winning the series in just two games with scores of 11-8 and 11-7 in the upset of the tournament so far.

24 seed Blue Balls vs. 41 seed 4 Balls Between Us

Vegas gave Blue Balls just a 52% chance of victory, but what Vegas didn’t know was Mark Hoxie of 4 Balls Between Us was out of town on vacation and his absence would cause 4 Balls Between Us to forfeit the game.
Blue Balls advances to play Sauce & Sand in the next round where everybody will be looking to see if Sauce & Sand can keep their Cinderella run going.

25 seed Ball Busters vs. 40 seed Let The Big Dogs Eat


Vegas gave Ball Busters just a 51% chance at victory despite the fact that Ball Busters is seeded 15 spots higher than their opponent. In this case Vegas is looking pretty smart, because Let The Big Dogs East did pull the upset in an extremely competitive game that could have easily gone either way.

Let The Big Dogs Eat is going to play the winner of 8 seed Utter Debocce and 57 seed Bocce Babes who agreed ahead of time to reschedule their game for a later date.

29 seed Sweet Italian Balls vs. 39 seed The Bocce Bunch

Vegas gave each team a 50% chance a victory despite Sweet Italian Balls earning the 29 seed while The Bocce Bunch earned the 39 seed. What Vegas did not take into account was that former Turbo Bocce champion Anson Zeppetello knows how to perform in the playoffs. They also may have underestimated Anson and Dan’s desire to play Whipple & John again this year, after pulling the upset of the tournament against them last year. Whatever the reasons behind it, Sweet Italian Balls had a dominating performance, beating a good Bocce Bunch team in just two games, 11-5 and 11-1.

Sweet Italian Balls will advance to play 4 seeded Whipple and John (who had a first round bye) in the next round. This is maybe the most talked about game of the second round, as everybody is wondering if Anson and Dan can pull a major upset of Whipple and John two years in a row.

20 seed Mike & Mike vs. 45 seed Knights of the Round Ball

Vegas gave Mike & Mike a 73% chance of victory, but that did not stop this game from being the most competitive of the first round. Knights of the Round ball made it clear right away that they were nobodies underdog by winning the first game 11-0. They were just inches from sealing a second win (and the series victory) when Mike & Mike stole the game 12-10 in extra bocce. In the decisive third game Mike & Mike showed why they were the favorites, by winning 11-1.

Mike & Mike will play 13 seed Droppin Balls (whose opponents forfeited the match) in the second round.

12 seed Kentucky Bourbon vs. 53 seed Otto’s Shrunkin Head


Vegas gave Kentucky Bourbon a 74% chance of victory without knowing that Kentucky Bourbon finished second in last years playoffs and third in the playoffs before that. Had Vegas known, I imagine the odds would have been even more in their favor. That did not matter to Otto’s Shrunkin Head who are rookies to Turbo Bocce and were not intimidated. In fact they did the intimidating, winning the first game convincingly 11-4. Kentucky Bourbon was backed into a corner and in trouble, but that happens to be where they play some of their best bocce. They were able to win the next two games 11-6 and 11-5 and advance.

21 seed Under My Ella vs. 44 seed Vagina Bombs


Vegas gave Under My Ella a 77% chance of victory, and they looked even better than advertized with a strong two game 11-4 and 11-3 win against a Vagina Bombs team that has been playing some really solid improved bocce lately.

Under My Ella looks game to advance far into the playoffs, but wins are not going to come easy for them as their next game is against 12 seed and last years runner up Kentucky Bourbon.

28 seed 2 ½ Kittens vs. 37 seed Some Innuendo


Vegas gave 2 ½ Kittens a 57% chance of victory and that almost even prognostication perfectly described this almost even game. Some Innuendo started strong with an 11-9 win in game one, and 2 ½ Kittens fought back with an 11-5 win in game two. The decisive third game was a tough close one, but in the end 2 ½ Kittens emerged victorious with an 11-8 win.

2 ½ Kittens will play the 5 seed Flailing Weasels (who had a first round bye) in what is sure to be an interesting second round game.

18 seed Ralph Bocce-O vs. 47 seed Sharp Shooters

Vegas gave Ralph Bocce-O a 77% chance of victory and Ralph Bocce-O came out looking like a heavy favorite and a team capable of making a deep run in the playoffs by winning the series in two games 11-2 and 11-5.

15 seed Kiss My Ace vs. 50 seed The Mean Girls

Vegas gave Kiss My Ace a 77% chance of victory, but these odds did not reflect at all how competitive the game was. Kiss My Ace managed a razor tight 12-10 win in the first game, and saved their season by doing so they because Heather and Kristen of The Mean Girls won the second game 11-7. The Mean Girls had all the momentum on their side going into the decisive third game, but Kiss My Ace showed the toughness that got them such a good seed, and won 11-3.

15 seed Kiss My Ace will advance to face 18 seed Ralph Bocce-O in what looks on paper to be an intriguingly even match up.

23 seed Omnipotence vs. 42 seed Twinning


Vegas gave Omnipotence a 70% chance of winning the game, but maybe Vegas is dumb because Twinning came out and won the first game 11-1, then sealed the series win with a tight 12-10 victory. This is not only a win against a successful veteran team who is not used to losing early in tournaments, but two straight victories that shows Vegas odds mean nothing.

Twinning will advance to play either 10 seed Los Moppines or 55 seed Son of Sicilian Sam who agreed ahead of time to move their game back to a later date.

26 seed Bocce Against the Machine vs. 39 seed Bushwackers

Vegas gave Bocce Against the Machine a 58% chance of victory, and this is the second straight game they got wrong. Bushwackers won the first game 11-3, and then (as is becoming a habit) Bocce Against the Machine put up a big fight before eventually losing 11-9
7 seed Conquistadors vs. 58 seed Courtney & I


Vegas gave the Conquistadors a 97% chance of winning, and the Conquistadors lived up to expectations. To their credit Courtney & I gave Tom and Oscar a fight in each game, losing 11-5 and 11-4.

The Conquistadors will advance to play the Bushwackers who look hungry in the second round.

19 seed One Eyed Fish vs. 46 seed Beer United


Vegas assigned the One Eyed Fish an 80% chance of winning, and this time their formula held true, but again the underdog put up a huge fight before going out. In this case One Eyed Fish was able to win the first game 12-5, but the second game was absolutely even, and needed extra bocce to be settled. In the end, One Eyed Fish was able to steal it 12-10.

14 seed Salty Bocce Balls vs. 51 seed The Mary Janes

Vegas gave the Salty Bocce Balls a 66% chance of victory, which essentially equates to winning two out of every three. In this case Salty Bocce Balls won both of the first two games (and thus the series) but both games were extremely close. Salty Bocce Balls won the first 11-9, as close a margin as you can have without going into extra bocce, then they actually did go into extra bocce for their second win, 12-10.

Salty Bocce Balls will advance to play One Eyed Fish in a second round match up that looks to be pretty even on paper.

11 seed Stealth Fox 3 vs. 54 seed Steal Your Face

Vegas gave Steal Your Face a measly 3% chance at winning, and guess what? They won! While Sauce & Sand’s upset over Puzzles was the biggest in terms of seeding, this was the biggest upset in terms of overcoming the odds. After pulling out a 12-10 victory in extra bocce, Steal Your Face lost big, 11-2 in the second game. You might have guessed that Stealth Fox 3 had their feet under them and was ready for a win, but you would have guessed wrong. Steal Your Face came back to win the final game 12-3.

22 seed Two Balls On Your Ace vs. 43 seed Blonde Bocce Bitches


Two Balls On Your Ace had a 73% chance of winning going into this game, BEFORE Sherri Walakis of Blonde Bocce Bitches hurt her back and could not play. Her partner Kim came to bocce anticipating having to forfeit the game, until we found her a last minute partner. By chance Meg Liwora just so happened to be visiting the USA by way of Dublin, Ireland. Obviously the best thing you can do on your Holiday is check out the Turbo Bocce playoffs, and that is exactly what Meg was doing. She graciously agreed to step in for Sherri and play as a substitute. Kim and Meg put up a hell of a fight, losing 12-10 to a very good Two Balls On Your Ace team, then lost the second game 11-3. Unfortunately its just too difficult to win a playoff game with a first time player, but, Blonde Bocce Bitches will always have the distinction of being the first team to ever play with an international substitute.

Two Balls On Your Ace will advance to play a hungry Cinderella team Steal Your Face in the second round.
27 seed Knickerbocces vs. 38 seed Ball Don’t Lie

Ball Don’t Lie was the only lower seed that Vegas predicted would upset a higher seed (not counting Breaking Balls who forfeited their game) and you know what? Vegas got it right. The equation did not know that Ball Don’t Lie made last year’s final four, but yet it somehow predicted them to upset a team ranked eleven spots higher anyway. They did it in two games, which they won 11-7 and 11-1. Maybe Vegas gets something right after all?

Ball Don’t Lie will advance to play 6 see Ball & Chain who had a first round bye.


I hope everybody enjoyed their summer with Turbo Bocce, and good luck to everybody who will be coming back next week to participate.