The Candylicker Cums Back

It is with much embarrassment that in this site’s first two months of existence the first mention of the great Marvin Sease was made yesterday. The average bocce fan may be asking what the inclusion of the pimptastic Marvin Sease has to do with the sport of bocce. The answer: Marvin Sease cured cancer.

Marvin Sease cured cancer? Yes, Marvin Sease through his refreshing tales of cunnilingus, cured the cancerous stigma that going down on a woman’s vagina is an awful thing to do.

Marvin Sease was not always the esteemed musician and lover that he is today. As a youth he was consistently made to feel negative by his schoolmates for his love of cunnilingus. The confessional song “Brother to Brother,” details a specific event which shaped young Marvin’s ascent into adulthood. The biographical event which Marvin chronicles in this song involved his 1st grade teacher at the prestigious Wheaton All-Boys Academy for Gifted White Children. Marvin who was already on shaky ground with the institution due to his distinct lack of whiteness, compounded his problems by having an affair with Sr. Nova Scotia. Sr. Nova was unfortunately being pursued by Br. Saskatchewan, the head of the school at the time, a detail which prompted Br. Skatch to call young Marvin into his office.

“Marvin have you been sleeping with Sr. Nova Scotia.”

“Brotha, how do you call a man into yo office, and accuse him of sleeping with yo woman.”, 7 year old Marvin said.

“That is no way to address your sup—”

“Man I thought you was alright, accusing me like that…”


“Listen, maybe if I put it into a song for you. Ready Ladies?”

“YEAH!” said the Ladies.

Brother to Brother,

Man to man

I didn’t take yo’ woman

You gave her to me.

It is from this short anecdote that we are able to see Marvin’s supreme understanding of the female mind. Marvin from an early age clearly understood that if a man was not able to pleasure his woman orally, that woman, no matter her vocation, would be out the door looking for someone who could.

I understand that this is all common knowledge for most of the people reading this. But it is being brought up for a reason. You see the man who has recorded two separate 10 minute songs entitled “Candylicker” and the classic “I Ate You For My Breakfast” will soon be releasing a live album entitled “Live with the Candylicker.” Many may say “Fooking epic, I need that new Marvin Sease joint.” They would be right, except for the fact that Marvin is also releasing a live DVD as well. Although the track list has not yet been confirmed I have heard from several reliable sources it will not disappoint. A 12 minute version of the classic “Put Your Condom on Your Tongue” is rumored to also be a part of what will most assuredly be an epic album. Conveniently enough both the album and DVD are available for pre-order at the Barnes & Noble link on the site, along with their extensive collection of older Marvin Sease masterworks.