The Turbo Bocce Top 100 Songs of the Decade: 20-11

Today we list the penultimate 10 songs of the decade. From here on out the list is nothing but the greatest songs to Turbo Bocce that were released this decade, with basically no room for debate. Sure, you could try to debate with me, but you’d be factually wrong.

20 Al Green – Lay It Down

The opening track to Al Green’s first Top 10 Album since 1973 opens the album with the resounding answer to the question of whether or not Al Green still has it.

19 Glasvegas – Stabbed

As great as every other song on Glasvegas’ debut album is, and as absurd as this song is, it’s playing this song on the jukebox at The Blarney Stone that puts this particular one on the list. The look of utter confusion on people’s faces when it comes on and just KEEPS GOING is priceless.

18 Chemical Brothers – Saturate

Originally released as Electronic Battle Weapon 8, Saturate is a song that needs to be experienced while under the influence of something to truly understand. After I had my ankle surgery and got a shitload of Vicodin for the pain, this was basically my go to song.

17 Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps

The standout track on their debut album and by far the best song to play on drums in Rock Band, Maps sounds as bleak as it is fun to listen to. It may well be the best song on the list that most of the league could agree upon.

16 MGMT – Kids

The only song that the entry-level hipsters that hang out at Blarney on weekdays will listen to, Kids is still a very good song that manages to make you feel like a kid again, with all the darkness and terror that that entails.

15 William Shatner – Common People

As hard as it may be to believe, this song is completely unironically and in full sincerity a goddamned brilliant song. The entire album this song is off of, Has Been, is a testament to the fact that Shatner is, honest to god, a talented individual who can do more than just ham it up at Star Trek conventions. Since there’s no real video for the song, I posted a fat dude.

14 Elvis Vs JXL – A Little Less Conversation

This song was remixed together for a series of Nike commercials that aired during the 2002 FIFA World Cup. The commercials were pretty cool for commercials, but it was the dancy tune in the background that really piqued everyone’s interest. There were quite a few times when, at 3:30 in the morning, one of us would perk up and proclaim “Goddammit, that is fucking Elvis and I will find that goddamn song!” Turns out I’m the one that found it and bought the single, contributing to Elvis having his first number 1 hit since his death.

13 R. Kelly – Trapped in the Closet Chapters 1-22

The Trapped in the Closet opus is a testament to the utter ridiculousness and genius that is R. Kelly. While seemingly completely serious, Kells belts out an epic tale of love and violence involving midgets and gay priests. The entire movie series is possibly one of the single most surreal things in existence, or at least it would be if Kells didn’t perform parts of 5 songs live at the goddamn VMAs.

12 Andrew WK – Party Hard

This song expresses one simple and incontrovertible fact: that when it is time to party, we will always party hard. A tribute to the act of partying whenever you damn well please, the song was almost responsible for the destruction of the Turbo Bocce trophy when a fully New Years partying Tim went face first into the glass table upon which the trophy rested. Party Hard Tim, and Party Hard world.

11 Sigur Rós – Untitled #8 (Popplagið)

Sigur Rós, in their album (), was the first band that really put a sound to what I had always believed to be my taste in music. I’ve discussed it before, but the easiest way to make a song that I like is to have a song start slow and quietly and then just build up slowly but surely to a fucking loud and screaming finale. When I finally saw Sigur Rós live in Philadelphia a few years back, this song became more than my favorite song by them but nearly a religious experience. They may be singing in what is literally gibberish, but the Icelandic band has yet to make a truly bad song.